


Almost

by qiaolianmay



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-07-16 06:25:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7256068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qiaolianmay/pseuds/qiaolianmay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The used to be pleasant bitter taste on her taste buds no longer taste the same. </p><p>It's just bitter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Almost

**Author's Note:**

> This is quite a mess to be honest because i just don't know what had happened that I decided to write this. Maybe it's because I watched 2x04 way too much... 
> 
> Disclaimer: Agents of SHIELD is not mine.

 

Melinda used to love the bitter taste of coffee. The aroma of the fresh brewed pot in the morning used to be her favourite part of the day. Waking up with the rich exquisite fragrance of the dark roasted beans and the smell of the pancakes that he used to make for her.

They used to have that. Phillip and her. They used to live a life that was almost a fairytale but that’s what it was, an _almost_. Life happened and they had to dance with the reality. A harsh reality that despite trying so hard to make things work, it would never be enough. Their work was more important—still is. They swore an oath that no matter what happen, they would protect the people.

They would sacrifice for the greater good.

The academy was the witness of their start. The witness of their potential as partners. And the same witness on how their friendship blossomed into a beautiful relationship that everyone had foresee way before they admitted to each other what they felt.

Sausalito was their first mission together, as a couple and as partners. They had been partners since the academy but for some reasons, the administration decided to split them up. Phillip became the welcome wagon and Melinda was assigned for extraction.

Sausalito was supposed to be the start of the most exciting parts of their life. They were thrilled to finally be able to work together after three years of handling different ops. Three years of going home to each other’s arms, counting the new battle scars that they acquired throughout their whole time away from one another. Three years, they were impatiently waiting to finally be able to work with together.

They were good as partners, that’s a given however, there was a reason why they say that one shouldn’t mix work with feelings. They never listened. It was like a rookie mistake and they knew that they should’ve known better.

Sausalito was the witness of their end.

Phil extracted her after five hours in the bay. Looking back now,  Phil thought that he was being childish for waiting that long but to his defences, he was pissed at Melinda for not waiting.

They didn’t talk. Not until they reached a Coffee Shop in Sausalito.

“What took you so long?” Melinda asked nursing the cup of black coffee.

“Why did you took off?” He retorted glaring at her.

“So you’ll just answer my question with a question.” She commented. “Really mature, Phil.” She added as she kept her hand warm. She took a sip.

It was bitter and she could feel the sour aftertaste lingering in her stomach. She wanted to throw up.

“You took off without telling me.” He said.

“Because you wouldn’t let me.” She retaliated.

“I told you to wait for the back up.” He sighed.

Their conversation was quiet. They couldn’t risk anyone hearing them despite the fact that no one would actually listen to their conversation. They still had to be cautious.

“You know what I can do, Phil. Yet you let your emotions cloud your judgment.” She supplied to him. She knew that he was just trying to find a way to patch up his mistake. He was trying so hard to cover up his slipped of letting his feelings rule over him.

“I—“

“you know of all people that if I didn’t reacted the way I did, things would’ve gone south.”

Phil knew she was right, but he couldn’t fight the feelings that was settling in the pit of his stomach. He couldn’t bare seeing her hurt first hand. It was different when he was waiting for her to come home. He would patch her up while she telling him how the operation went.

It was different. Back then, he could feel her. He could just hold her close upon coming home. He knew that she was coming home to him. Phil knew that Melinda was capable but what if it gone south. What if, he wasn’t close enough to pull her to him? What if he could no longer patch her up? So many possibilities ran in Phil’s mind at that time. So many possibilities that he got so scared for the life of his woman, that he was willing to sacrifice their op if it meant to kept her safe.

“I was just trying to protect you.” He spoke quietly.

“So, you’re willing to sacrifice all the hardships done by everyone in this operation just to keep one agent safe?”

“You’re not just an agent.” Phil sighed in defeat.

“I do understand you, Phil. And I’d do anything to keep you safe as well, but we swore to an oath.” She said not looking at him.

 “Protect the greater good.” He muttered in which she answered with a nod.

Melinda settled her cup onto the table, no longer feeling the cold from the water she was in for five hours.

The only thing left inside her is the cold that settled inside her.

“We can’t go on like this.” She said. “It’s either we face our reality or leave this reality and stay in our bubble.” She added.

“This is just the first, Lin. Please.” He knew he was being needy. He just didn’t want to lose the grasp of what they had but he also knew Melinda. She’d run. And he might lose her altogether. A part of him wanted to hold her hand but he was afraid that she might take it back and the sting of rejection might just make him resent her. He didn’t want that. He’d never want that.

“We have to set boundaries if we’re going to work with each other again.” She said breaking the silence. Her voice was hoarse and she had to swallow mid-sentence just to make her point across.

Phil knew that it wasn’t easy for her too, but he also knew that they had to do this. He knew that it was the right thing to do. People might call him coward for not fighting but she was right, this may be just the first but with the feelings inside them just lingering, waiting to explode, was a dangerous waters they couldn’t thread. They shouldn’t thread.

This was the end of their bubble.

They both knew that.

This is them, crushing the idea that maybe they’d be able to find a way in making things work, to balance love and their responsibilities, personal lives and the oath they swore to fulfil.

They now created the boundaries.

* * *

It didn’t take long for them to have an agreement. They set boundaries to their relationship when they clearly knew that their lines were already blurred.

 “Maybe we can grab a coffee again one day.” He said in passing.

“I may no longer drink coffee ever again.” She said as she started to resent coffee. The used to be pleasant bitter taste on her taste buds no longer taste the same.

It's just bitter.

An excruciating remembrance of their what might have beens. They used to be pleasant despite the bitter reality. now, they're just living an unpleasant reality.

They stood up, Phil held his hand to her that  she grabbed as instinct took over. His hands were soft and warm and it felt like home. Melinda immediately release it upon remembering their deal as if she was burned by the touch.

He held it again for a bit and pressed his lips to her hand before releasing it and they started walking back to their base for the night.

All that was left on the table were two half-full cups of cold coffee and a­ lingering feeling of an end.

* * *

**_“May hates coffee.”_ **

 


End file.
